Can't put a title to an emotion so encompassing

I wish I could be really witty and inspirational right now. 

I wish I can passionately say "Failure is the only option if you lose faith," and then go on and succeed. 

But I gave myself away to too many people, and so I will never wholly get myself through anything.

I wish I can say that this will work out because I can do this. 

But lying never suited me well and I don't think I'm quite ready for this. 

After years of dreading this, you would have thought that I would have came prepared.

But after spending so long fighting, I just want to fall between the cracks for a bit.

But then I will never forgive myself for not fighting hard enough.