Practice limited limitlessness

I have a lot on my chest and more in my head. I'm afraid to take a deep breath because I don't know what's in the air.

"Love thy neighbor," religion preaches to our face, but we're getting stabbed in the back.

Speak your mind or keep your peace, but you'll get ravaged and trampled like how we treat the Middle East.

The blood of the innocents marks a trail of man's march through history. Hegel preached that history was the dialectical movement of God's march through time; but it's not. It's a struggle of human selfish interests against the selfless ones: empathy saves us, but greed rips us apart at the seams. We shouldn't aim to survive and reap a living by stepping on others; helping each other survive will let us all thrive.

The government and court systems can bring down the activists, the geeks, the "freaks," the outspoken lover of Gaia Mother Earth, and the kid who was sexually assaulted. But it won't bring down McMiney-Bags and Big Oil, athletes who bend the rules because they can get away with it.

We preserve a system that has been corrupted by power and greed, plunging us further away from cooperation and coalition building.

Why do we claim success based on material belongings? We measure happiness with dollar signs as we steal resources from indigenous groups and their livelihoods. We deplete the earth through over farming and then claim we didn't know better and it's no irreversible.

These discussions. We need to have them.

I don't respond well to mixed messages

They tell me I have to be better.

I sit there learning day after day

Spending hours studying, analyzing, rehearsing,

Breathing.

They told me to take a break.

Why? So I can be lapped?

So I can be beaten, burned, surpassed?

So I can lose?

They tell me I have to do better.

How much longer can I sit here

Trying to absorb this profound sense of knowledge?

I've worked so hard, how much more?

Do I dare ask?

They told me I work too hard.

Damn straight I do,

I didn't spend all my time learning,

Working, exercising mind and body,

To be told 

"You work too hard, take a break."

I told them they missed the memo.

To stop trying is to stop living,

Struggling to achieve makes the reward

Taste, feel, seem infinitely better.

Don't hand it to me.

Don't stand in my way.

Because I'm like a steamroller, 

I will run you down, 

And take what I earned.

Disoriented and alone

Two days. That's all I get.

Two days, to be spent with this kid that I've been in love with for three and a half years.

Two days, to lay in bed with my feet on the wall and my head on the mattress, demanding to re-enact the Spider-Man/Mary Jane kiss.

Two days, to feel my hand wrapped tightly in a warm meat blanket of another hand that is just slightly bigger than my own.

Two days, to remember the smoothness of each other's skin and the glorious tickle spots.

Two days, to know that the bed is big enough for two people, but small enough to hold the warmth between us as we whisper to each other in the darkness of two in the morning.

Two days, to get over the disorientation of not seeing each other for a month and begin to remember that our memories extend past the thousands of text messages sent.

Two days, to lose the familiarity of texting and to learn how to function without a phone.


Two days, to be just enough to hold us over for another month, whether we like it or not.

The things I learn

Last week I competed in my first strongman competition.... and I was the only girl competing.

The one thing I learned from the competition is that even when I feel like I'm strapped to a truck, I know that I can keep moving forward. Even if it's slow and arduous, and the goal seems so damn far away, I can keep going.

Icarus wished he had wings like mine.

Don't mind me. I'm just here to grab my wings.

I figured since I'm gonna fall anyway, I might as well learn to fly on the way down.

I'll see ya later.

Hundred miles to get a kiss

"You two are so cute with how you make your long distance relationship work."

"'Cause we're a boss. People are too emotional ! OMG I MISS YOU BABY! Back in my day I had to walk a hundred miles uphill in the snow both ways to get a kiss before work!"

The wonderful little moments when that kid you spent three and a half years loving comes up with the best comment to the best compliment.


Ti voglio bene <3

The in-between

In between sleep and awake, that is where I'll find you. Where the drowsiness of sleep still makes everything fuzzy and the alertness of being awake isn't as clearly defined as it should be.